If Vet Clinics Had Yelp Reviews Written By Patients

We all know what clients think of us.

But what would happen if our patients could leave their own reviews?

Here’s a glimpse into the wild, unfiltered world of Pet Yelp.

Max, 2-year-old Labrador – ★★★★☆

“The staff was so nice and gave me treats! The vet scratched my ears in my favorite spot! Only reason for 4 stars is they told me I’m ‘a little chonky’ and put me on a diet. Honestly, rude.”

Princess Murder Mittens, 5-Year-Old Domestic Shorthair – ☆☆☆☆☆

“Absolutely not. I was placed in a box. The box moved. Then I was poked, prodded, and they stole my blood. I will never forgive any of them. Also, the entire staff smelled like dogs, it was nauseating.”

Biscuit, 8-Year-Old Beagle – ★★★★★

“10/10 would sniff again! Heard a rumor that the treat jar is bottomless – can confirm that the rumors are true! Also, I think the techs are in love with me…I don’t blame them.”

Sir Peepington, 1-Year-Old Parakeet – ★★☆☆☆

“They held me in a towel. I repeat…A TOWEL! As if I’m some kind of common sparrow. The indignity.”

Flopsy, 3-Year-Old Rabbit – ★★★☆☆

“Vet was gentle, but they kept talking about my teeth. My teeth are none of their business. Otherwise, decent establishment. Hay could be fresher.”

Slyther, 7-Year-Old Ball Python – ★★★★★

“Warm hands. Good vibes. Nobody screamed. Would recommend.”

Final Thoughts

If pets could review us, we’d all be averaging about 3.7 stars – heavily skewed by cats who think we’re plotting their demise and dogs who think we’re the best thing since sliced cheese.

So maybe we should be grateful Yelp is strictly a human thing…for now.